COMPOSITE ARTIST GIVES UPDATED LOOK AT FUGITIVE KORFF

Be on the look out for the man in the above police composite drawing. Korff was recently seen by witnesses digging in the garbage bin of a McDonald's restaurant near the city center of Prague. Korff is to be considered delusional and extremely hungry. Keep all food indoors and do not allow small pets or children to wander unattended. Do not allow your fingers to come within reach of Korff's mouth if you encounter him.

Korff is described by authorities as a fat little man with a chip the size of a Big Mac on his shoulder and an actual Big Man on his other shoulder. Korff sports a rather large ego accompanied by an even larger imagination and delusional state. Korff likes to play soccer and pretends to be a counter terrorism official, an author with a five-hundred book deal, a ballet instructor, an english teacher, a gnome, and an asshole though this has proved to be true.

Some distinguishing features on Korff are his rather loud mouth, his excessive speech, excessive hair all over his body except for his pubic area, a set of testicles that never dropped, and his ability to make excuses for every mistake he has ever made in his life while taking his insecurities out on others instead of being a man and owning up to his own problems. Korff was last seen sporting some very fashionable finger nail art and was giving a piggy-back ride to a white bald male subject who was yelling, "That's right! Who's your Billy bitch? I'm Semjase's daddy! Say it you pig! Faster you parasite! "

If you sight Korff, you are urged to call the international toll-free number to contact the three major agencies searching for Korff - Beanie Babies International Club, Iron Man and Stark Enterprises, and the One at 1-KAL-SUCKS-IT.