New York City -- In yet another stunning turn of events, the president of the International Beanie Babies Club has held an emergency meeting regarding the membership status of long time club member Kal K. Korff.
Club president Alana Hula Bear told the press today, "I had to call the meeting due to the irrational behavior of Kal. The guy is making us look bad and that is not what we're about. I am shocked and dismayed at the abhorrent behavior Kal is displaying. And this business about being some officer in some sort of counter terror group? Well, let me just state for the record on behalf of Beanie Babies worldwide, it sounds like a bunch of monkey s**t to me."
In an unprecedented unanimous vote, the club chose to immediately revoke Korff's status and membership privileges including the right to choose from new and exclusive Beanie Babies before they hit the market.
"If you ask me the guy is quackers and we should have ousted him long ago," said club vice-president Jemima Puddle Duck. "This is a good thing for Beanie Babies all across the world. I can't just sit on a shelf collecting dust and let this go without some consequence."
American Blessing, one of a few new Beanie Babies produced in support of U.S. troops, said, "This guy had the brass to call one of our good fighting men a coward? The most he has likely ever served this country was asking someone if they wanted to super size their combo meal. What? Someone already used that line? Damn it. Okay, anyway, this Korff dude is a disgrace to my country and the troops in the field actually fighting real terrorism. The guy don;t even live in the world's greatest country. He chose to leave and I hope he don't come back ever again."
In addition to being banned from the club, Korff will also be forced to surrender his Beanie Babies collection, which is said to be one of the largest in the world. The collection is reported to be currently stored in a small studio apartment somewhere in Prague. Unconfirmed reports have emerged that Korff, upon hearing the news of being banned from the club, has barricaded himself in the apartment.
"Our organization just can't take this kind of heat right now. I mean, look at this mess with Iron Man, that bad dude the Living Tribunal, and the big tall guy with the bald head too big for his body watching everyone and taking notes. Do the math. Adios, Korff," stated a visibly upset Austin Backyardigan.
"This might not end well. I just hope Kal has the sense to know when he's outnumbered, outsmarted, and outclassed. If it comes to it, I am ready to call for an emergency deployment of our special operations unit," gravely said Alana Hula Bear.
Dark Blue Peanut the Elephant made a rare public appearance at the voting session. "It is sad to see this day. Kal has been a member of this club since the beginning. And now he's pulling this nutty crap and turning on us all? I just hope Kal ends this peacefully. This is a dark day in Beanie Baby history and I'm not sure we'll ever recover from the damage," stated Dark Blue Peanut Elephant, who is the rarest among Beanie Babies.
Reports just prior to press time indicate that Alana Hula Bear has dispatched the beanie Babies special operations unit to Prague. Updates as they are received-------
2 comments:
the picture is too damn funny. kkk locked up in an apartment with his beanie babes waiting for the end. lol! it is funny but yet so fitting.
BWAHAHAHAHA! Korff is pretty in pink indeed! What a dolt. I've checked out his website and Korff has lost his marbles.
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