EXCLUSIVE! WATCHER KATU TO EXPOSE AND PROSECUTE KORFF!

It's OFFICIAL! Watcher Katu Granted Unprecedented Permission To EXPOSE and PROSECUTE Earth Being Kal K. Korff!

Watcher Katu to gather evidence and bring Kal K. Korff before the High Tribunal, Says Guilty Verdict is Certain

Daily Bugle, New York City

In a stunning revelation, the near omnipotent extraterrestrial known as the Watcher Katu revealed in an exclusive interview given to The Daily Bugle that he has been given unprecedented leave to physically participate in activities on this planet in order to bring what Katu refers to as "the vile earth being Kal K. Korff" to justice.

The Watchers are a species of galactic beings who have recorded the history of the universe throughout time and have sworn to not interfere in the events of the universe, but only record them as they happen. Only one other time has a Watcher ever participated in the outcome of a given event. The Watcher Uatu was tried by the High Tribunal, the officiating body overseeing and regulating the activity of all Watchers, after Uatu allegedly assisted the internationally famous Fantastic Four in defeating the world eater known as Galactus. Uatu was later allowed to return to being the Watcher of our galaxy and vowed to not directly interfere in any other activities.

The Watcher Katu was recently assigned to planet Earth for the specific reason of observing a man only identified as a Prague, Czech Republic resident named Kal K. Korff. Korff claims to be a Colonel in a secret anti-terrorism organization.

The Watcher Katu said, "In consulting with The One and the great historical archives of The Watchers, I bring to you news. I have been granted an unprecedented leave by The One and the High Tribunal to officially participate in your activities. This is an historic moment. This day brings to all beings a new initiative from The Watchers."

When asked why the Watchers would ever take an interest in a single person on our planet, the Watcher Katu replied, "My fellow earthlings are not the only beings in the universe to suffer from the delusions of a fool.

I have observed the earth being Kal K. Korff and see him as a bane to the existence of other earth beings I have found to be admirable and honest. Like my predecessor, Uatu, I cannot sit by and allow the injustices and cowardly acts of the being Kal K. Korff to continue."

Watcher Katu told The Daily Bugle that while he had sufficient evidence, he would continue collecting evidence, witness statements, and would hire KFC to conduct a thorough audit of the claims of Korff, including books written by Korff. "Much of what the being Kal K. Korff claims is not found in the historical archives of The Watchers. The earth being Kal K. Korff's guilt is certain and this process is a simple formality."

When asked by The Daily Bugle about the capabilities of KFC to conduct a thorough audit of Korff, Watcher Katu said, " While those under the employ of KFC are given compensation with the minimal monetary disbursement necessary under your earth laws, I have nothing but the highest of confidence that these earth beings belonging to KFC will be able to adequately match and exceed any resources the being known as Kal K. Korff has access to and are far superior intellectually than the being known as Kal K. Korff."

When asked about the pending audit of Korff, KFC founder Colonel Sanders, who was given his title by an elected official, Sanders stated, "We look forward to assisting the Watcher Katu and are working with our merchandising and licensing departments on Watcher Katu toys to incorporate into our kids meals to educate our young consumers and to foster universal relations. I closed this deal with Watcher Katu as I have always closed my deals: With a firm handshake and the honor between two men, er, a man and an extraterrestrial."

When asked about the claims that Korff holds the rank of Colonel, Sanders responded saying, "Never heard of him and I'm a real colonel. Oh, wait, I think I had a UFO nut who used to yell at my customers in the drive-thru that he was going to expose them all when he got their orders mixed up. I can't be sure if it was this Korff character though. And everyone knows I am the Colonel. Looks like I might have to file a copyright infringement. Gotta' go now, got a press conference and some chicken to fry using my secret recipe."

At press time, The Daily Bugle was unable to confirm many claims made by Korff including his claim of holding an official ranking in any anti-terrorism organization.

When contacted for comment by The Daily Bugle, Korff replied in an e-mail stating he would expose the Daily Bugle and would personally "SUE and EXPOSE J. Jonah Jameson" and would have Jameson extradited under "INTERNATIONAL LAW" and "WILL spare NO MERCY in obtaining a GUILTY verdict!" Jameson is, of course, the Editor in Chief and publisher of The Daily Bugle.