KORFF SOLVES ZODIAC MURDERS!

Your humble Watcher Katu reveals to you an unreleased piece of information found within the great historical archives of The Watchers. The earth being Kal K. Korff planned to release this information but did not. It is my task to enlighten you with this information.


For IMMEDIATE Release!
Korff SOLVES Infamous ZODIAC Murders!

Prague, Czech Republic

In a stunning turn of events after a decade-long investigation, the president and CEO of Critical Thinkers announced today that he has solved what has become known as the Zodiac Murders.

Beginning in 1968, a string of murders took place in California. The killer, only identifying himself as Zodiac, gripped California in fear after sending several letters to the San Francisco Chronicle newspaper. No suspects were ever arrested and to date the case remains open; until now!

Although only a teen when the Zodiac Murders took place, Korff has become the first person to ever definitively SOLVE the Zodiac slayings! Using computer reconstruction, forensics, pop-tarts, reading everyone else's work on the Zodiac killings, utilizing his 219 I.Q., deploying the endless resources of the Special Secret Services, tirelessly working the case from his cramped studio apartment while constantly bumping into his stuffed animals and Star Trek memorabilia collection, and wearing adult diapers so time he could dedicate to the case would not be wasted using the bathroom, Korff came up with a startling conclusion which anyone can independently verify.

"I am pleased to announce to the world my findings in this incredible case. I have found the Zodiac killer to be the one, the only, Zodiac," stated Korff.

Korff also stated to his lovable stuffed Klingon Beanie Baby, "Today I will begin a new initiative to solve all unsolved serial killings throughout the world. We will OFFICIALLY cooperate with law enforcement agencies worldwide, employ our incredible nanotechnology, and I will offer to all interested an unprecedented access to new and advanced technologies avilable through my secure Israeli e-mail account."

Korff also stated that Zodiac t-shirts, calendars, coffee mugs, and a three-hundred book series on the Zodiac killer would be available in forty-eight hours to consumers everywhere.

In recognition of his historic breakthrough, Korff will video tape himself in his bathroom and appear in multiple clips available for the world to see on YouTube.com to explain to the American people who Zodiac really was.

Korff is a noted author, lecturer, analyst, columnist, designer of the porta-potty, co-creator of the incredible fad of nail art, inventor of the salad shooter, a quack, a self appointed general, and is feared by terrorists and serial killers everywhere. Korff also houses the world's largest collection of Beanie Babies inside his studio apartment.